The Dastard Dodger Ploy
by pensive youth
Summary: Fred and George Weasley are in the hospital wing after their last escapade, which leaves comrade at arms, Alicia Spinnet all alone in her pranking. Written for The Clue Prank Challenge.


For the Clue Prank Challenge.

Title: The Dastard Dodger Ploy

Person, spell, location: Alicia Spinnet, evanesco, the divination classroom.

Word count: 816

Rating: K+ (for the use of the word testicle)

Footfalls, those pesky little things that buggered even the most inconspicuous of plans, were easily eradicated with a revised version of the muffliato spell. However, as Alicia Spinnet sprinted across one of Hogwarts most ancient corridors, with a regulated breathing one could only achieve through Wood's strenuous Quidditch practice, this was not her current problem. The real issue here was the absence of the Weasley twins. So as she rushed passed another hallway entrance, startling portraits with the sudden influx of air, she kept a keen but hurried eye out for a secret passageway. Of course, she knew this would be fruitless, but by golly if a Gryffindor were to go down without a fight –or, in this case, a desperate attempt at evading capture. Neither would the majority of Gryffindor's be caught planning ahead. She then bitterly recalled her own lack of precautions before setting out on this mischievous mission, furthermore her own folly for setting out without her carrot-topped comrades who were currently recovering from their last escapade in the hospital wing.

Brash, that's what she would call her lot, the brave but brash Gryffindor's. Still, it was better than being a slimy Slytherine. So in spite of this, she pumped her legs a little harder and kept her ears open for Argus Filch's cursing, as she had been faintly picking up on for the past few minutes. Hearing nothing, she felt harried by her nerves at the sudden silence. A happy Filch- a Filch in pursuit of a miscreant student and with the hope of torture- was never a quiet Filch.

Alicia was disconcerted, and this was not a normal emotion for her. In all fairness to her Gryffindor pride, though, it was not a normal occasion for her to be caught on a one-girl mission, without precautions, to hide dastard dodgers- transfigured gnomes that caused mayhem and disruption, which were very hard to capture and subdue- inside Professor Snape's classroom with intent to wreak havoc.

There was no reason or cause for this attack, other than Snape being an intolerable, utterly scathing individual, which may have cosmic justice for Mrs. Norris catching Alicia mid-way submerged in the darkest corners of Snape's potions cabinet, hoping to leave a few dastard dodgers as a post-prank, nasty surprise for the greasy haired potions Professor.

In hindsight, she would feel oddly remorseful to Professor Snape for the thoroughly unprovoked attack, but whilst fleeing the scene of the prank it was a wholly pleasant, if a little darkly humorous and vindictive feeling that overtook any guilt which would in time would make itself known to her sense of right and wrong.

Alicia blundered at her abrupt halt, nearly toppling over upon sighting the tail of Mrs. Norris whip out of sight at the end of the corridor. Filch's excited murmurings met her ears next. She darted back around a corner and began ascending a set of stairs which she knew lead to the Divination classroom. The fact that she had made it this far from the dungeons gave great credence to her evading capabilities. Then making her way up, she stumbled slightly on the last step as the large sack of inactive dastard dodgers in her arms made the ascent awkward, and because of the folly, she grew even more aware that Filch had just tried to ambush her.

Upon sighting Professor Trelawney passed out on one of the elaborate classrooms many cushions, sherry bottle loosely held to her breast, she let out a breath of relief she had been holding in since the shock of Mrs. Norris appearance bound her tight and tense.

Above, the echo of Filch crooning to Mrs. Norris was not subtle to Alicia's ears. Scrambling for her wand stowed up her sleeve, she dropped the bag of dastard dodgers to the ground and watched in horror as three of the things came out of inactive mode at the shock. They set their eyes on Trelawney's supply of tea sets.

"Ev-an-ES-o." The mispronunciation of the spell cost her dearly, and they smashed a few of the pink sets. Alicia righted herself and pointed her wand again.

"Ev-an-ES-ko!" The first went down easily, but the other two darted to the side and regained the blue cup and saucer they had dropped in favour of hiding from her vanishing spell. Redoubling her efforts after hearing the nearing Filch, she managed to get the last two and the sack with evanesco just as the last of the active dastard dodgers dived for the stirring Trelawney, its greedy eyes steadfastly eyeing the sherry.

Instead of being able to enjoy the moment all incriminating evidence was cleared away, Filch appeared, wearing a malevolent leer and Trelawney blinked her magnified eyes dreamily up at Alicia.

"My sweet, we've got her!"

Alice blew out a breath and murmured an explicit, as was appropriate for the moment.

"Merlin's saggy left testicle."


End file.
